delightfully_sinful's Xanga

Friday, February 24, 2006

Fri, 24 Feb 2006 04:22:40 GMT

Spontaneous Orgasms
Well today has been, amazing great.

Heather had only one class so I didnt ride with her. I was up and puttering around cleaning most of the morning instead. I worked on my chores, and got mostly packed for Oklahoma. I was slathered in the goo of cleaning, and smelled as such. Not a bad smell mind you, but the fumes would knock a lesser mortal on their rear-end with just a single wiff. By the time I was cleaned up and no longer repulsive or pugnate it was too late to get to Geology, so I took it off.

I arrived in time for Sign Langauge. Derrick had ridden the shuttle and we walked to class together. There was a huge note on the board saying go to the lab. We began to treck that way, only to be pounced upon by our teacher! A buzz of questions flew about and we found ourselves back on the shuttle towards south campus. We got into Derricks care and procedded to careen towards Iowa.

We got lost. The winding snaking roads...we ended up going north rather then south. Not good. Eventually we found our way back to meet up and go through the museum. Been there...done that. So then back to UNO we raced some class mates, it was good.

So after that high flying adventure I went to my mums work. Got a free lunch, and had fun for a bit. Good moods for everyone! Ran home, did some reading and then to my hair-cut.

Shannon is amazing. And I love my hair. She added texture to it...

-----------

TKD Testing was today

I rocked its socks. I did only get a 70% on my written test.

Things are starting to get up again with Pietro, but I'm setting out to hunt collage boys. Come on! Grab a bow and lets get huntin sisters! -xena war cry inserted here-

I slapped him and he liked it...rough rough. He admits that he gets turned on by biting and such. Dir-tay. I know for a fact he gets one going from grappling....-giggle-.

Now I'm working on my speech for the morrow. I had something amazing to share...but I forgot it.

Later!

Current Mood: creative

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Wed, 22 Feb 2006 16:46:11 GMT

Sun-Chips and Finger-Lips
So so no entry yesterday. Weird ain't it? I wish I had a southern accent like Rouge and Gambit.

I should be ripping apart my paper so that I can have just the story and just the details in two diffrent pages for the exersises, but I just dont feel up to it so I say...

fuck-it

that felt good.

I feel like I'm back to myself, and setteling in quite nice, like when your away from home for a long period of time, and everything feels cold and slightly out of place on your return.

Maybe I'll get a kiss outta you yet suga'h

Silly Boys
with silly toys
that make noise
and boom

I love you, even if your heart is dented! heart to heart resusitation, and mines bursting with what you need.

Finished my last ASL lab today. Thats fantastic! No more labs for me-e-e-e-e-e-e now just to do a book report, a chapter review, and speech in front of an outside sourse till I'm finished with my musts before Spring Break.

I have Tattoo ideas...I want to get one during spring break

but I might wait till this summer before I get my big one on my back.

Current Mood: curious

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Tue, 21 Feb 2006 03:25:56 GMT

Shatter Bones
So today has been...glowing.

After a brisque morning of Speech and Religions I retired to the ever lovely cafe'. There I met up with my dearest of Heathers and we promtly enjoyed lunch. A silly boy came after his orientation to sit with us, and I laugh. He hurt his wrist when he sat down, we thought nothing of it, but much more was to come.

Charging through English, I sparkled my teacher with my writing, she said I was far too advanced for the project she had in mind, and now I must preform surgery (much like the amazing game of Operation, minus the red glow nose) on my paper so that rest of the class can understand. Then I trotted off to PKI to talk to not only Geoff, but the ever lushiouse Jon as well. Kidnapping the Heather we vocally exited and toward home.

We picked up Stephie, who was at her gay-mans house. What a doll, and I dropped the sisters off at their castle. A quick U-turn and I was at Pietros' within moments. He was fast asleep on the couch, but pulled himself out of dreamland to let me in. I sat with him on the couch, and quickly he dozed off. In and Out he went which worried me. I check his wrist for him, proclaiming it fractured. He didnt believe me, but on the arrival of his mother and step-father he said he couldnt go to work. I offered to go to the E.R. with him and his mum and we spent a good 4 hours bodning time. It was AMAZING. Even though the x-rays' came back with a sticky that said "I told you so".

Ahhhhh. So he was borken, dishearted and ready to die. I pulled him up, and after getting a splint returned him to his home. We sat and chatted, and I watched him work on his computers. He didnt want me to go, and was on his way to inviting me to his room when I felt the need to leave. So off I went happy as a clam, and made me promise to come see him on the 'morrow.

So all is well once more. Lovely weather, lovely friends, and I've seemed to surpress if not expel my inner bitch.

Touching.

Alough my dearty M-Mushroom is without her DDR pad. If I had an extra I would send her mine, and maybe if I get PAID this week I'll buy one and send to to her. She needs her DDR.

Current Mood: complacent

Saturday, February 18, 2006

Sat, 18 Feb 2006 16:54:27 GMT

Love me for me and All that you see
At least my dream has left against my will

Well today promises to being rather dull and boring. I'm going to finish cleaning up after my family yet again. She wont pay me until I get it all done, but when I get it all done, before she gets home, THEY undo it all.

-sigh-

Its a loosing battle

I love myself, I just want you to love me, I dont need no dr. phil, I love myself I just need someone to love me, and I dont need to bottle of pills

Eric said tomorrow we'd hang out, but his words are empty after last weekend. I'm still reeling under this massive continouse wave of emotion. Make it stop please.

make it all right, will it be all right?

Lets see what the day holds in store...

Current Mood: crappy

Friday, February 17, 2006

Fri, 17 Feb 2006 21:10:24 GMT

Grasping at Threads
the fray
the tear
the break

my insides squirming
need to escape
locked up
locked down
stuck here
under ground
no escape

shadows deepend
lights flicker on
but your still gone
from my life

I tried to apologize
for what I dont know
being a bitch
being a ho
being me

I want so bad to feel
like we used too
I want to touch you
with words and skin
to hear you
with ears and mouth

but your gone
out of reach
and I dont know
if you'll be back
I dont know
if your still alive to me
or I to you

no to sit and wait
maybe for a date
but I doubt
doubt myself
and doubt you

--------

Going to the moooovies with Clair! Yeah for that. Dont know what we'll see, but hopefully somthing good. I need to practice for my test on Thursday! yowza I dont even know what my ho-sin-sol is...damn.

Well I'm fucked.

Also I need to finish reading for my Religions Test yeah!

Current Mood: crushed

Thursday, February 16, 2006

Thu, 16 Feb 2006 22:56:53 GMT

Bitch Hulk SMASH

So I feel so...bitchy still. I dont know WHY either. He promised he'd call after his nap, and for all I know he just woke up. I dropped his CD off at his house and lucky for him Jared answered the door or I'd have busted a verbal cap in his ass. I ended up scream-singing and knowing that I need NO ONE ELSE to make ME happy. So fuck you all.

So then I came home and watched last nights Drawn Together. It was lovely. Nic called and we talked. He was worried about me becouse I had called him the other night but he'd been really busy. He sounded sickly and had just woken from a nap. Poor kid. Half-way through our call HE called. I told him I was on the other line. He asked me to call him back, but FUCK THAT I'm not calling his ass.

Today has been sloshy and icky. I had to drive to Omaha which wasnt nice. Amanda was sick and had locked her keys in her car. Poor chica. I did get some extra rest which was somewhat nice.

I cleaned and that means money tomorrow. mmmm money.

Also my dad said "Dont drive on the icey roads, there's other unskilled drivers out there and I dont want you in an accident"

Um hello I drove to the FUCKING CITY ASS HAT and the weather was ALOT worse this morning.

Jerk-face.

Current Mood: bitchy

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Wed, 15 Feb 2006 19:36:23 GMT

Street Sharks

Well today has been...calming. The moon is now is waxing and I can feel control come over me once more.

Both my blood clots on the bottom are gone now. My stiches just happened to pop out with the clots still on them. No fear of getting a dry socket becouse I've already healed up almost all the way. They were so annoying too...grrrr.

So no plans for tonite other then cleaning. I'm going to see Clair. Yeah.

A girl in my Speech class has the hots for me. Totally crushing right? So today she asked how my Valentines day was, I told her that my valentine and I had a bit of a fall out (even if he didnt understand it) this weekend and that nothing special happened yesterday other then my valentine asking what was wrong. She laughed and we turned to our tests. Afterwards I was sitting outside of Ruthies class room, waiting for her. This girl came over and sat next to me. "So you waiting for you girl" "My girl?" "Yeah your valentine, isnt this her?" I laughed. Ruthie? MY valentine...then I figured it out. She thought I was....no it couldnt be could it? She's THAT blind. -sigh-

So friday I'm gonna break it to her.

"Yeah were' really alike you an I! We both have dark hair, similiar intrests in reading, we both have pagan-esque beliefs...oh and we both like the penis."

------

So this boy just walked by. Kinda cute I guess. I'm waiting for heather. he did the eye brow thing and I giggled. On his return walk he passed behind me to try and read what I was writing. Dork.

------

Trying to find a parking spot was Crazy. This bitch was like sharking the lot. I squeezed past her though muahahaha.

time to go sit and stare at heather....

Current Mood: curious

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Tue, 14 Feb 2006 13:43:31 GMT

Moon Called

When everything I look for in myself
is in you
I feel a little more then empty
but I wanna feel more then full
its a pity all I have is just enough to keep you satisified

So I think I'm gonna blame the moon. I've been a real bitch the last couple of days. Like OMG Jorian's PMS, watch out he's gotta knife, type of PMS. I could have killed Jack or dad with my words yesterday. I was so 'dark' and 'evil' as they put it. Hands clasped in front of me, head tilted just enough to hide my eyes behind my hair, hood pulled up. I cut them with my words, showing them how stupid they were being. Asshats still didnt learn their lessons.

It wont be over for the next couple of days, which means when I do go back to TKD that I'm still going to be under the moons effects.

Damnable.

I'm already regretting the things that I can see myself saying and doing.

Stupid Jorian

Current Mood: worried

Monday, February 13, 2006

Mon, 13 Feb 2006 15:36:31 GMT

Theif
So I was up at 530 this morning. In a half-sleep I tried to waken from my slumber at the sound of thunder rolling down the stairs. Moments later my bedroom door exploded inwards, the light flickering to life, and the bellow of the bull as he charged towards me. He yelled at me, saying I stole his keys. I fished the key I had used from the computer room, and explained that they werent all attached. He called me names, a liar, a cheat. As he bustled about the house he woke Satan from her slumber. Red flames licking her eyes as she glared at me. She too accused me of things "Is there somthing you need to tell me" she yelled. The Giant slept through all of it. Finally Satan check Jabba's dresser and lo' and behold there were the missing keys. I slunk back to my room, and was within seconds of reclaiming my state of sleeping, of walking once more in the world of dreams. Another roll of thunder, and the light came to life again. More accusations, this time I stole his hat. Doesnt matter he has more then one. He turned my room upside down, the whole time yelling at me. Again he went upstairs and on his dresser sat the hat.

So what a lovely start to the morning, following yesterday's little shit-fest this is going to be a great week I can tell.

Today I have to clean the house in preperation for a stranger to stay over since all the hotels are full. Lucky me.

A girl in my speech class thinks I have the hots for her, and I see her trying to connect with me. I giggle and cant wait to tell her I dont swing that way.

Mmmm Swing.

No Religions class today, our teacher was sick. So now we're all sitting up in Milo Bail until 1 when we go to our classes.

I told the instructors that I was unable to go to class, when the truth is that I'm not going becouse I dont think I can face Eric without having more trouble. I'm going to still pick Sylvia up, so no worries there.

Current Mood: frustrated

Sunday, February 12, 2006

Sun, 12 Feb 2006 22:47:31 GMT

Current mood: depressed

Edit my day out of existance please
So today has been very boring. Other then a short music frenzy its been pretty sad. I took Jack to his rod and guns club where he learns to be a hunter or sorts.

My dad has the 'flu' but he's a hypo-condriact, and actually he shows no signs of being sick at all. No fever, nothing but him sitting there bitching at me to do more work around the house and yelling at me to take the dog out. I tried to escape by going to get gas and run into work, but he just fucked that up by making me go get milk (even though we still have half a gallon in the fridge).

Inner Goddess

I flew through the snow, not a flake touching me. The wind curled around my legs like a cat, and the whisper of it was purr like. Floating up the front steps the door flew open at my touch. The outside cold dimmed my energy (the cold slows down the virbration of molecules), but the jabba-esque man flopped on the couch had cranked the heat up early. Faster molecules, more potention and more easliy maliable. As I drifted past the threshold my hair burst to life with static, a low hum built up in the t.v. in my presnece. He bitched at me
"You need to clean up the kitchen, your mom pays you to do that shit" he should know that I've been keeping the house clean but not CLEAN for the last two weeks and as such havnt been paid. All the dishes are his yet he says "You dont even clean up after yourself". The air crackles as my earlier worries about Eric melt away revealing a primal anger. In a twister of rage I fly down the stair, vaulting the fence to keep Nyxi from going down. I put my stuff away, chaning into temperature appropriate cloths. The air's whisper is louder now, and he calls out that I need to clean the kitchen NOW. He hasnt moved since 9 this morning and its 5 in the evening now. I charge up the stairs, I single thought on my mind. As he reaches for the lamp next to him a blue spark shows itself, leaps and sends a jolt through him. A small pop as the molicules burst outwards. The light flickers on and I whirl into the kitchen. Its open, and he starts dictating to me how to clean. In anger I crank dish after dish into the dishwasher, cleaning and banging while I go. He stops dictating when I snap at him. He acts like I'm the bad-guy and yells at me for snapping. As I twist and turn around the kitchen, hands flying to clean, he turns up the volumn of his stupid show to try and drown me out. Not having that. I thought, an action. The t.v. dies and he doesnt know why. I finish up, and it turns back on, the volumn at max somehow. He cusses as I disappear down the stairs, him fumbling for the volumn.
Mom calls, he plays himself the Myrter. I force myself to relax and not comment, not to hurl words and electricity at him.

Its a tough battle.

And its far from over for today.

Tear the Tarot

So more yelling and bitching, I cant think of what to do, so I go outside. The weather is below 20, I can barely feel my hands and face as I move through the flakes gliding to the ground. I dont know what to do, whatever is boiling inside of me doesnt feel right. The clouds are ominouse, the bleak grey fading into an even bleaker black. My gut turns and knots, I dont know whats happening to me. The cold is chilling me to my bones, and I fall to my knees on the sidewalk. I start to cry.

The tears are warm in my eyes, but they freeze as the slide down my cheek. I cry and cry for no reason that I can comprehend, just this need to get it out. As I sob into my black gloved hands, I hear the crunch of snow. I nice presnece like someone is there to comfort me, but when I turn there's nothing. A heavy sigh escapes and I climb to my feet, continueing to work my way through the winding streets. Walking, just moving. I fish my phone out, try Clair. No answer. Pietro hadnt been answering his phone all day, but I try anyway.

"Hello"
"Oh hey, wasnt excpecting you to answer"
"Whats going on you ok?"
"Oh yeah just peachy, walking outside in the freezing cold"
"Thats cool, well Its hard to talk to you while driving stick shift"

he mentions that he just got out of the Gym with his friend Kevin. I hear Kevin ask who I am and then words that I dont understand. I feel disconnected, like there's somthing I'm missing in those garbled words spoken by a stranger.

"Well call me if it gets worse"
"Yeah well, walking out in under 20 degrees, cant feel my hands or face, if it gets anyworse I'll be dead"

He hangs up. Only then do I realzie what I heard in his voice. He's happy go lucky, whatever had been floating over him last night was gone, disappaited into the ether. My day goes from bad worse, I loose myself in a sudden flurry of snow and fall to the ground. The back of my hoodie soaked through with snow. After a good half hour of just staring up into the sky as if falls in white flakes ontop of me, I get to my feet. Struggling, my joins feeling old and frozen. I walk back to the house, the wind blowing in my face, making me slow and almost stop.

Its so cold.

I get in, the warmth of the upstairs not helping me at all. The sudden heat might send me into shock so I trip down the stairs to relative safty. Now I'm tired, but I cant wait up from this nightmare.

Today has been the officially worse day of the year.